｡+°LIP! Service(P圉q'V`)゜*+。

I got too much Candy Pop in me, you and me

2009-10-21T21:05:51Z

YES!

MY (free) DOWNLOAD OF SEVENTEEN MAGAZINE JULY 2009 EDITION JUST FINISHED! WOOHOO!

I'm so freaking PUMPED now man!

I mean, the next two days are sunny-filled in your FACE sunshine so I need to dress up that part! I've already got my outfit for Friday down: fobby, long, red dress, hair cabbage style (STFU, the hairstyle is actually cuter than the name!) and either my cute new boots or flats. Probably flats. Yeah, I'll go with flats.

See, I'm going to make a LOOKBOOK. Recreate outfits from Japanese, Korean and Taiwanese magazines using the clothes I have. Since tomorrow is going to be freaking 70 DEGREES, I'll need a really cute outfit!

WOOT.

Now I should actually go look at the scans before I have to get ready for work -- FML.

IT'S 5:03 PM ALREADY? SHIT SHIT SHIT.

MY SCANS JUST FINISHED NOW THOUGH.

AND MY NOVEMBER ISSUE IS STILL ALMOST FINISHED DOWNLOADING AND AND AND --

THIS. SUCKS.

I have to go eat and stuff. Urgh. I guess I can sneak a quick peek before work starts.

... I think my feet smell.

Don't trust a hoe, never trust a hoe, won't trust a hoe, won't trust me

2009-10-21T20:38:18Z

So I just found out first period during Sports Science that Sasuke has a girlfriend.

A recent girlfriend. Recent as in 2 weeks. Or three. Or a month.

Surprisingly, I didn't break down and cry first period even though I wanted to and throughout the day I felt better but now I just feel shitty again. I mean honestly, Sasuke was the guy I actually REALLY liked.

I'm a little heartbroken but I'll be okay because as long as he's happy with her, that's enough for me. As long as we can still be close friends like last year, that's enough for me. I'll just get his number after school, before classes starts -- whenever I see him and he's not around his friends and then just give him a call to hang out as friends. That'll be enough for me.

His happiness is what I care about, in the end.

It's just that, what I'm a bit more upset, is my guy friends (ironically) saying, "Oh, you never have a boyfriend. It's your senior year and you still have no boyfriend. You're the type to have a boyfriend. Why don't you have one?" Blah blah blah.

JUST SHUT UP.

Like, you guys make me want to have a boyfriend just so I can say "I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!"

I shouldn't have to have a boyfriend.

Gosh, they made me feel like there was something wrong with me.

Tch, stupid hoes.

I'm a vegeterian and I ain't fuckin' scared of him.

2009-10-18T14:05:24Z

So I suck at time management. I thought I would gain it from my job by balancing school, work, friends and soon, dance classes too but I don't know now.

English
College essay/Personal Statement due tomorrow.
"The Yellow Wallpaper" essay due tomorrow.

Pre-Calculus
Bookwork

AP Biology
Post labs from 1c and 1d due tomorrow.
Lab reports for 1c and 1d due tomorrow.

I've already started on my second essay for English, just need to add some touch ups. My personal statement will be a bit long though. (I'm going to talk about my Connecticon experience! WOOT.)

I think I'm going to look into timeboxing. It's so interesting and I think it's a very convenient way of managing my time.

On a side note, I can't stop listening to this song. It reminds me of Sasuke. Hah.

Stupid him and his love of awesome music.

I'm kind of mad at myself for delaying my payments.

Sigh.

But today, before going to work, I'm definitely going to drop it in the mailbox.

It's time to get my shit straight.

You’ll be shining in a new place called the future

2009-10-18T06:11:26Z

So there's this co-worker of mines that I think likes me (As if the guy on my bus isn't enough. Sigh.). I'm not too sure but I have that weird instinct gut feeling thing! Because

1.) He tells me which days we're working together.
2.) Whenever we work together, he would ALWAYS take his break the same time as me and join me upstairs in a room.
3.) Today, he bought me an oreo cake.

Yeah. I don't know if I'm overreacting or not though. A friend said that I'm not because it seemed like he likes me, in her opinion.

Let's play a love game, play a love game

2009-10-17T14:31:21Z

I'll have to make this entry nice, short and quick because I'm long due for shopping with Kit Kat in an hour and a half.

I GET TO BUY WINTER BOOTS AND PEA-COAT!

Oh, bless that girl. I'm not even Christian, lawl.

Anyways, this morning I woke up to this very refreshing dream about me and Sasuke. It was the first time in ever that I've dreamed of a boy. Seriously.

So the dream starts off me babysitting with Unni, walking around a random place. Seemed like the mall. On the way, walking, hand in hand with the 5 year old, I bumped into Sasuke who was wearing blue McDonald's uniform. (Funny thing is he doesn't even work at McDonald's.)

And so, we sat down on the same table, next to each other. His boss comes in and says for him to get rid of the customers sitting on the other tables near our table. He shooed them away and then we start talking. Then the scene changed. I wasn't with Unni anymore and me and Sasuke were just having a great time, friendly bickering, friendly chatting and all the friendliness you can possibly imagine.

We even tried to tackle each other. I made him fall on the ground by grabbing his ankles and, vividly, grabbing his foot. We were just laughing. And I even hugged him twice, with him saying "Woah!" I don't know what that's supposed to mean but I hugged him around the waist anyways.

It was such a warm hug.

I woke up with a big smile on my face. I think this is the first dream I've ever waken up with a smile.

The first pleasant dream I've ever had... in my life.

I want an exciting tomorrow.

2009-10-17T04:19:08Z

Because of dear Aiko-chan, I feel compelled to tell why exactly this new crush is called "Sasuke", in reference to Sasuke Uchiha from Naruto.

Basically, last year, me and Sasuke talked about Naruto and he said that lots of people said he looked like Sasuke. I can see that, sort of.

(PSH, PRETTY BOY MADE A BETTER SASUKE THAN HE DID!)

I mean the spikey, black hair, black eyes and pale skin. Sasuke would pull off the Sasuke-kun character more if he JUST GROW HIS HAIR.

GAWD.

"Oh, it gets too long! Gets in my eyes."

UM, HAY, THERE'S SOMETHING CALLED TRIMMING, IDIOT.

Sigh.

Baby it ain't love if it ain't fun

2009-10-17T03:58:34Z

Lawl, so I'm over that little rant there.

I don't know why I suddenly came back. I never seem to stop blogging. It's freaking addicting! I had so many other blogs while being on hiatus on this blog but it just wasn't the same feeling. I guess it's because this one carries so much memories that I can't seem to part with it, you know?

Anyways, right now I'm babysitting (Shh! I'm supposed to be doing my homework!). I was working earlier and then got home to babysit. My plans of going to the football game with a friend got canceled. I don't even think I'll be able to go shopping tomorrow! DAMN IT.

AND I REALLY WANT WINTER BOOTS AND A KNEE-LENGTH PEA-COAT!

THIS SUCKS.

I NEED SOMEONE TO GO SHOPPING WITH ME! LIKE NAO.

Um, yes, by the way, I'm expecting a certain reply from a certain someone who anonymously told the current guy I like something scandalous.

Now that I think about it, the way that this even brought up was just freakin' random.

The Chad: You know, Ami, you and Sasuke (LAWL.) make a cute couple. You're both Asian!
Me: LAWL. WUT? (INNER AMI SQUEALS AT THE COMPLIMENT.)
The Chad: Yeah! You know, Sasuke.
Guy Friend: He's in our English class that's next period.
Me: Of course I know that idiot!
The Chad: I'm going to tell him that. You know, that you two are a cute couple.
Me: Oh no. (OMG.)
The Chad: Yeah. I'm going to tell him. I'm going to ask him what he thinks about you.
Me: Um, okay. Whatever. What do I care? (FAINTS, HEARTS IN HER EYES.)

The Chad doesn't even know I like Sasuke, but I think that he knows now that after seeing my reaction about it when class was over...

Me: Hey, are you, um, seriously going to ask Sasuke that?
The Chad: (smirks) If you want me to.
Me: (blushes) Um, sure! Hey... what are you thinking? (glares)
The Chad: Nothing!
Teacher: You've got to give him credit for thinking.
Me: OUCH. BURNED!
The Chad: I think... sometimes. (about to leave)
Me: WAIT!
The Chad: WHAT?
Me: What are you thinking?!!
The Chad: OH MY GOD. (leaves)
Me: HEY!

... that I like Sasuke.

I used to be love drunk

2009-10-17T03:29:59Z

I totally give up on this layout's CSS.

It is completely hopeless.

No matter how many times I change the freakin' CSS, it will not budge from that cursed, tiny, gray font! WUT THE FUDGE, MAN!

So I'm just going to deal with it like how I deal with sweets.

I don't deserve this.

2008-11-22T15:01:03Z

First of all I don't deserve you guys. I've been lazy and busy to reply and scared of your replies when I do post an entry. So please de-friend me. I'm just a horrible friend.

Anyways, I'm so PISSED!

PISSED
PISSED
PISSED

Why do I always keep getting the bad end, huh?!

Want to know what happened? I woke up just a few minutes ago. Went downstairs to see if my dog, Lilly, has been fed and let out. My younger brothers woke up an hour and a half earlier than me and they already fed and let out the dog and fed the chickens. (Yes we got chickens but I live in a suburban area, thank you.)

It was already too freaking late to let her out.

She already peed on the freaking floor an hour ago! And you know what they did?

NOTHING, THAT'S WHAT!

I screamed at them, asking why the freak they didn't clean it up earlier instead of just sitting around playing your freaking goddamn games. And they replied, "It's not my job."

WTF.

FIRST OFF, YOU GUYS DON'T EVEN HAVE A JOB IN THIS HOUSE NOR OUTSIDE OF IT.

SECOND, INSTEAD OF JUST SITTING AROUND PLAYING THOSE GODDAMN GAMES THAT ARE DESTROYING YOU, WHY DON'T YOU ACTUALLY CLEAN UP THE MESS INSTEAD OF WAITING FOR ME TO CLEAN IT UP?!

I called my parents who was out gambling off their freaking money as usual and they said, "Oh why don't you just clean it up. We'll deal with them later."

FREAK LATER!

You guys will probably come like tomorrow morning or something.
You guys will probably just scream at them, take away their games for a day, and give the games back to them and love them like nothing happened!

I'm always getting the bad end of this crappy butt family!

I'm so frustrated. So, so frustrated.

This is it. I'm done putting up with them. They're hungry? FREAKING TOO BAD. GO WALK DOWN THE 30 MINUTES WALK TO THE STORE AND BUY FOOD FOR YOURSELF OUT OF THE MONEY YOU STOLE FROM ME INSTEAD OF EATING THE FOOD THAT I MADE!

I really really really really hate them.

And to be honest, I officially don't believe in the "I always will be there for you" crap.

BULL SHIT!

(sigh)

Time to get out the mop...

EDIT.

Oh, look. Weeks of abandoning this journal and I missed tons of LJ friends' birthdays. (Happy late birthday you guys!) Again, another reason to de-friend me: I'm not worth it.

Sorry.

2008-11-06T02:51:07Z

So of course I'm alive from that terror at school if I'm able to go online a week later and post this.

I have so many happy things to ramble on about but I'm not in the mood to type about them right now so hey, warning, emo-ing coming up.

Let's face it, Ami.

You suck.

SUCK
SUCK
SUCK

Why can't you ever stick through your goals and actually complete them? Why? Are you that sucky that it brings you down so much?!

You say you want to:

1.) Shed a couple of pounds
2.) Get into hip hop dancing
3.) Be a more sedulous student
4.) Get back on the ice again

(And some others that I forgot because you are fuh-reaking ambitious as shit.)

But honestly, look at yourself. You never complete any from start to finish. You just leave it open; the earlier motivation and peppiness dead. And you know what? You can't even think of something to cure this.

YOU ARE THE WINNER OF BEING THE SUCKIEST ASIAN DIPSTICK IN THE WORLD!

HELL NO, WE WON'T GO!

2008-10-23T20:07:43Z

I just came home from school which was brutal.

You know how I mentioned this week is Spirit Week? Well it just got canceled because of the whole school's behavior this week: alcohol during Lip-Sync, food fights, bullying... Everyone is punished for it.

And you know what?

At first, everyone hated the Juniors because they assumed it was all our fault for the cancellation of Spirit Week (some preppy girls brought in alcohol); we were about to be banned from further activities.

"It's all the junior's fault! Let's get them!" Was what everyone else thought.

I was ashamed to be a junior because of this! And when all my underclassmen friends asked me what class I was (they all thought I was a freshman or sophomore..), I lied and said I was a sophomore out of shame.

BUT!

The principal surmised that the Seniors started the food fight today and the Sophomores joined in on it too! I know who started the food fight because they happen to be in my class after it happened and were laughing about it with me but I'm not giving their names. (I thought it was funny then!) So everyone had a part in it, not just us Juniors.

No class clash tonight.
No prep rally tomorrow.
Football game still on though.

Everyone, especially the seniors (it's their last year!), were frustrated. The ones who were still angry started to riot in front of the office, then moved the riot to the front of the school, chilling there and stuff. The teachers were called down to an immediate meeting and eventually the riot was broken up; everyone was kicked out of campus immediately except Late-Bus people.

So we're all going to march in school tomorrow, all happy and carrying on with our normal lives.

Right..?

Nope!

People are still angry and in fact, tonight about 60 or more people is going to show up at the football field nearby my school and have their own "class clash"; texts were spread: Show up at 6:00 tonight!! At the football field! (Read: fights.) Teachers know about it, and cops are going to be there too.

Idiots would go there.
Wimps would go there and leave.
Smarties would never go there.

I'm not going tonight! Freak no! I'm going to stay my butt at home like a good girl and not get arrested. You guys are just basically asking trouble anyways! Don't you want to learn the lesson learned from here?! Last year, it went smoothly and this year.. it's just chicken doo.

Lots of people are scared to show up tomorrow for school -- fights and people getting jumped.

Guy Friend: Bring a knife, a weapon, anything to protect yourself tomorrow.
Me: No way!!

My friend and I are just going to run to her house within 15 minutes walking distance from the school if anything turns ugly.

And stop by for brownies and ice-coffee on the way.

:D

I'M SO HIGH, I CAN TOUCH THE SKY.

2008-10-20T18:05:42Z

This morning, as my friend rolls out of bed and enters the school doors, he stares at the bunch of freaks.

They must be high...

I can't blame him for thinking that. It's not his fault that he forgot this week is spirit week. (And of course, the freaks in this school.)

No, I'm serious. As I'm in my school's library right now, juggling an essay --

OH.

SNAP. FORGOT TO STAY AFTER FOR MY ENGLISH TEACHER ABOUT THAT.

...

Oh well.

-- history project, and science project, I'm typing this. I wonder if they had crack injections this morning? It's kimpossible. Today is costume day and wow are people really into it. (Read: GAY.)

Someone dressed up as Obama. (Even painted their skin black for the effect.)
Someone dressed up as Jesus.
Someone dressed up as a gorrilla.
Someone dressed up as a banana.
Someone dressed up as a Care Bear. (Who was a guy, by the way.)
Someone dressed up as a penguin.

The girls dressed up in slutty stuff. I mean, short skirts that barely reach your thighs? You've got to be kidding me. Most of them were girly lady bugs, superman, bumble bees, etc. You know, "cute costumes". The other costumes people wore were just hysterical, like when McBeanie came in with the full on ukelele, lua (however you spell it), and grass skirt.

THAT JUST MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD. :D

(Him and that ukelele, gosh.)

Another is a guy dressed up as a 70's hip hop dude. He even brought a boombox for the effect! I couldn't stop laughing. OH YEAH! And that Care Bear dude got to me too. (The gorilla and banana thing was last year, so not really a knee-slapping laugh.)

Other than that, really, people are just weird. Maybe it's just my school.

Yeah.

PISSED OFF. (ish)

2008-10-17T01:31:52Z

I'm not even supposed to be online right now, with minute rage, typing about New Hampshire girl.

Or NH girl.

Let's just call that 16-years-old-sophomore that. (BOW TO THE POWERS OF THE ALMIGHTY 15 YEAR OLD JUNIOR! :D)

I should be watching It Started With A Kiss 2 with freaking happiness over Ariel and Joe, while printing out my Ancient Egypt research then hitting the sheets for my current exams this and next week and PSAT and tests and projects for Physics and Western Civ.; these are the reasons why I'm not commenting on other's LJ much -- exams that if I fail, I can't graduate.

But no. She just angered me (I swear, it's only a tiny bit. It's not a drama queen.) that I just am focusing on getting every single rage out.

So I was 11 years old, she was 12 years old. My family went to visit her family up in New Hampshire for two days due to my dad and her mom are good friends since they were kids back in Asia. I thought she was pretty cool so I hit her up with a letter. Years ago, she unearthed this letter and decides to write back to me. Me write her. She write me. This went on for a couple of weeks.

During this letter exchange, we gave each other contact information: phone, AIM, e-mail.

Talking on AIM with her just showed me a portion of her; how annoying she is.

Constant "are you there?" if I do not reply to her IM within a second she replies. (Possibly due to the loss of a friend?)
Once I do not reply after 3 seconds, she follows up with an "I see. You don't want to talk to me anymore".
She takes things everything in a negative direction
- EX: You are waiting for a friend's call for plans to hang out that night. She wants to call you. You say "No, because your friend might call while you guys are talking." She immediately thinks you do not want to talk to her. (True story)

Just now I was talking to her on AIM. We sort of planned for me to come over Christmas Vacation.

Her: Guess what I'm happy about winter vacation.
Me: I don't know. I wonder why! Hehe.
Her: Guess.
Me: Okay. Because of the presents you are getting!! (sarcastic)
Her: Uh, no. It's because you're coming over. Don't you remember, or did you forget? Ugh. How can you joke like that? Is this the same Ami.

Apparently she's close enough to know "the old me"...

Me: Huh? It's.. me. Ami.
Her: Shut up. I don't want to talk you anymore. Stupid bitch.
Me: What? Did I make you upset? Please tell me how because I really don't know how I did so!
Her: Yeah. You did make me angry. I'm crying now.
Me: REALLY? I'm sorry!! I'm really sorry!
Her: No dumb bitch. I'm not crying. Good bye.

(Friend -laughs-: She'd be psychotic if she actually was crying. )

Me: Wait! Please tell me what I did wrong!
Her: Don't you understand?? Stupid bitch. Leave me alone. I don't want to see your ugly face.
Me: Well before you go, I just want to say, I'm sorry. I mean, I've got a lot to learn since I'm young. Do you believe that I'm sorry?
Her: Yeah.
Me: Okay. And I'm really sorry. I just.. am.. stupid. I guess. I understand that you were angry and all at me, so I forgive you for insulting me.
Her: It's okay, I didn't mean to call you a bitch. I wasn't really mad, actually.

Wow. So that's her way of joking? Seriously? That's some crappy joking, especially insulting me is going a bit far I think. Even though I forgave her for this small fight, that doesn't mean I'm not a little angry at her because I still am. Not a whole lot, but just a tiny bit. (I'm not one to throw fits or anything; a conflict hater.)

Now you're thinking, after all this, why bother being her friend?

True. I just want to block her and cut off all contacts with her but I can't. Remember: HER MOM AND MY DAD?

And I'm pretty sure she talks about me to her Mom.

I don't want her mom to think I'm a totally rude person.

So I'm putting up with her, walking on glass on this "friendship" with this girl.

HARRO THAR.

2008-10-12T17:44:37Z

New (temporary?) non-Halloween SNSD layout, as you can see! :D

~~I are too lazy to make one myself.~~

I SHALL ALSO INTRODUCE THE WONDERS OF...

ウェブカレ!

~~SO THE QUALITY SUCKS I'M SORRY GO BLAME IT ON MS PAINT.~~

A Japanese place where single girls ~~(or gay guys)~~ can unite and make their very own boyfriends. Interact with them, play with them, talk to them, and have it chat with other boyfriends.

Oh, the dreams of a single girl... ouch!

That is my freaking smexy boyfriend up there, Uchiha-kun. A shy, quiet, Honors student. I also got myself another one on the way (YOU CAN MAKE MORE THAN ONE!!), who's the popular teacher, Sexy-sensei.

...

DAMN IT, THAT'S WHAT I SHOULD HAVE NAMED HIM! ARGH!

(Named him Sho Sakurai from Arashi.)

A preview for you guys. HE'S TOO SEXY TO BE TAKEN A PICTURE OF.

If you don't visit your boyfriend every day, both of your relationships will plummet skyward.

Why don't you make one and go chat me up at my web-kare profile, yeah? WE COULD BE LIKE MOTHER IN LAWS OR SOMETHING! ... Oh wait that only works if one of them is a girl. Well...

>D

EDIT. OMG! MY LOVELY UCHIHA-KUN! HIS PICTURE DISAPPEARED! NOOOOOO!! IS THIS AN OMEN?!

So I'm back?

2008-10-11T00:58:19Z

So I'm back?

I'm pretty sure I'll be annihilated for ditching this journal for what -- the whole summer?! It's okay, though. As long as I am still alive in the end, it's okay. (I WILL SURVIVE!)

And for ditching livejournal? Well, I kind of felt pressured to change a new layout every month. I actually had a layout set up in mind but I wanted it to be unique and well... everything went downhill from there. So this layout will still be in tack for a couple of days until I feel like getting my photoshopping mode into high gear.

That's part of the reason.

The other part, I was extremely depressed. I'm serious. While my best friend was sent off to an eating disorder clinic, I was stuck at home

every

freaking

day.

I would wake up, look at myself, and feel worthless. I thought silly stuff like, "WHY AM I LIVING?" or "LOOK AT ME. LOOK AT THIS. HIDEOUS, HIDEOUS, HIDEOUS." Every day, as I look at myself in the mirror, I wanted to just die. I wanted to have the blade of a knife strike me at the throat. I slept a lot, ate little, went on the computer for long hours, and that was my summer.

I shunned myself from people; from the world; from everyone. (Including this journal!)

But when I started school, slowly I eased up. I really changed my views on things this year.
That doesn't mean I'm still depressed. It's a mini, strange one. This year just happened to be the worst of it.

(Hah.

I'm kind of chuckling in the inside at everyone who says that I'm always happy.

I am, just 90% of the time.

Imagine their reactions when they know how weak, fragile, and lonely I am?)

"Home" happens to be where it usually strikes.

Well. That's another day.

I could blabber on for as long as I want on all the new things, but you know what? I'll save those for later and go try to reconnect with old livejournal buddies.

I hope they're not too mad at me.

Pick up the phone - Say LOVE!

2008-05-06T18:41:17Z

Oh
my
freaking
god.

Did you know that Ami is an idiot? Well, if you haven't you know now.

Today I had study for Chemistry fifth period so that equates to all three lunches (or rather, skipping going to the room where study is held since no one is in there). First lunch? A blast with a new nickname as "spit" or "water sprayer" - don't ask. Second lunch? PRETTY BOY IN THE SAME LUNCH, SITTING ALONE!

Ami: *sees Pretty Boy sitting alone* O///O ..!! *paces around back and forth behind his back, flustered and blushing*
Friend: Huh? What is it Ami?
Ami: Pretty Boy is over there! The table in front of us! >///<
Friend: Then go up to him and say hi!
Guy Friend: Who? Who is it? I won't tell, I swear.
Friend: The guy she likes is sitting in front of us. See the one in black sitting with nobody?
Guy Friend: THAT KID?! *jumps out of seat and points to Pretty - luckily Pretty didn't notice*
Ami: OH MY GOD! AHH! O///O *hides behind friend embarrassed, hoping Pretty doesn't spot her*
Guy Friend: HEY, YOU! *throws empty can at Pretty*

Thus goes the can, missing Pretty and just rolling...

(ENTER PATHETIC FEMALE COURAGE!)

Ami: *goes up to Pretty* Hey, can we talk? :)
Pretty Boy: Sure.

(silence)

Ami: Hehe.. Sorry.. I'm so friggen nervous..! >///<;; *opens milk and it squirts on Pretty Boy*
Pretty Boy: Lol.
Ami: Oops! *wipes it off* So, what class you in right now?
Pretty Boy: Spanish.
Ami: Oh, who do you have?
Pretty Boy: Mrs. S.
Ami: I heard she's a bitch
Pretty Boy: ...
Ami: ...
Pretty Boy: Hey, do you know when this lunch ends?
Ami: In like 5 minutes-ish.
Pretty Boy: *nods and then spots a couple of friends* Okay then, I'm going to go. *starts leaving and about to go to his friends*

(LE GASP!)

Ami: W-Wait! I just have a question to ask you! D//:
Pretty Boy: *pauses and turns faces towards Ami, face to face*
Ami: *quickly* Do you like me? A-As a friend, I mean!

(WHY DID I JUST ENTER "AS A FRIEND"?!)

Pretty Boy: I guess.
Ami: Okay! Bye!!

I was seriously so nervous and embarrassed with my heart thumping so loud I can feel it! Heat rising to my cheeks... Ah, I didn't even know what I was thinking! I-I was just.. not thinking.. at all! I said what was on my mind! And, at least we were both eating too so it wasn't that awkward as it already was.

Sighs.

I'm so stupid, but hey at least I got a response that didn't say "No".

*still swooning*

There's no such thing as the perfect guy.

2008-05-06T01:21:46Z

GUESS WHAT.

Today, while sitting amongst two guy friends (who both happens to be friends with Pretty Boy) and another girl friend all lunches due to my Gym teacher being out, I SAT AND ALSO CHATTED WITH PRETTY BOY!

-ish.

(Due to him being all cozy with his other guy friends, we only talked here and there but nevertheless talk and sat on the SAME TABLE!)

And, oh wow, it was so.. um... INTERESTING. You see the two guy friends of mine and Pretty Boy who me and my girl friend sat with through the entire lunch filled us in on this bet that them and Pretty Boy and the rest of their friends have started since Saturday of last week (Pretty Boy's sweet sixteen!).

THE PERVERTED GAME/BET! (a.k.a. "SUPER mayden")
Goal: Who can last the longest without... *cough*... masturbating
(Took them friggen 15 minutes for them to tell me this with all the guys looking away, blushing, and/or laughing to death. SERIOUSLY, EVEN PRETTY BOY WAS LIKE, "UM, NO I'M NOT TELLING YOU! <<;; >>;; <<;;")
Loser: Each loser forks in $5
Prize: $40

Sitting through one of the three lunches with Pretty Boy being such a typical perverted guy cracking up methods and ideas of the game made me want to thwack him on the back of his head and shout, "STOP POISONING MY MIND! @///@~"

The first loser of it was one of my guy friends I sat with throughout the whole lunches.

I went, "Hahaha! What the --, why would you ever tell that?! XD"

Honesty is the key.

No one knows inside your heart

2008-05-03T22:10:01Z

I can't get him out of my mind!
I can't get him out of my dreams!
I can't stop thinking about him every day!

Why are you so... so ADDICTING, Pretty Boy?!

I love the way you smell.
I love how your smiles give me a warm fuzzy feeling inside.
I love the way your tan skin strikes with your rosy cheeks.
I love your black, silky hair that's always hidden under a baseball cap.
I love how you are a skateboarder.
I love your eyes and how they can change from cold, mellow to happy.
I love your sense of style - eye-candy and HOT.
I love how on your left ear you have just one earring. (HOT FACTOR X2)
I love how you're just a few inches taller than me.
I love how your voice isn't really deep.
I love how you seem to be a mellow type of person.
I love how you're skinny as well.
I love that you play flag football.
I love it when you wear big jerseys because it makes you seem like a little boy in it.
I love your gentle, nice laughs - it makes me want to listen to it all day.

I.
can't.
stop.
(loving)

Did you know...?

I like you...
I like you..
I LIKE YOU!

And thus a door opens.
The door for us to finally talk face-to-face, one-on-one.
A door with a sign that says "After school".

Enter.

In solitude, you have nothing to fear but loneliness.

2008-05-01T18:31:19Z

I'm in the library right now - school's been over 45 minutes ago.

After school library loser checked out two teen books (because she is a lover of all that is cliche teen books), staying after because she does not want to go home (and solely because she wants to hang out with friends).

REALLY cool.

I'm having a bad moment all of a sudden too, so I went to my guidance counselor (who she's a current replacement this year of my actual one which is sad because I'm starting to grow attach to her - emotionally, you perverts), but she isn't available so here I am in the library ranting to you (the readers) about my crappy moment.

I don't know.

I
don't
freaking
know.

This day was radiating with freaking over-the-top SUNSHINE. Hell, even the weather right now is shouting, "IT'S ONE HAPPY DAY".

Too bad my mood isn't up to par with it as of now.

You see, you know how randomly you start dwelling on weird things out of nowhere? Well, I am guilty of so because ever since an hour ago I've been feeling kinda sorta down.

I mean, why am I like this?!

This: a person who doesn't let other people get to know her well

Thus, resulting a person who

A,) Has no fucking social life outside of school
(But social skills and friends? Higher than that 'HELL YEAH' line.)
B.) Only about one friend (Clumzi) who actually is closer to me compared to everyone else
C.) Criss-crosses all types of groups with plenty of friends but they're just THERE

NEWS OF TODAY:

This
totally
fucking
sucks.

I'm just pissed (for an unknown reason).

I'm always that kind of girl who is on the sidelines.

The one who is the second option available if the first one is gone.

Like
those
falling
     books
      or
       those
         pieces
            of
              scrap
               paper.

Nothing.

In elementary school, apparently I was so popular according to numerous people but I didn't felt like it- I WAS ALONE.

I
hate
solitude.

And next year, after that year passes, I will be alone again.

Why?

A.) Clumzi is graduating and leaving for URI next year
B.) Her family will also move to the next town over (in the future)
C.) Ming will move out soon leaving me with my evil mother (in the future)

I don't want to be alone again.

I need someone.

Someone.
SomeONE.
SOMEONE!

I hate solitude.

Ami
noun.
- A girl with all these friends and a happy-go-lucky exterior yet secretly crying interior.

Apathy is boring.

2008-04-26T01:56:24Z

DAY of SILENCE

Silent for Lawrence King
Please understand my reasons for not speaking today. I am participating in the Day of Silence (DOS), a national youth movement bringing attention to the silence faced by lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people and their allies. My deliberate silence echoes that silence, which is caused by anti-LGBT bullying, name-calling and harassment. This year's DOS is held in memory of Lawrence King, a 15 year-old student who was killed in school because of his sexual orientation and gender expression. I believe that ending the silence is the first step toward building awareness and making a commitment to address these injustices. Think about the voices you are not hearing today.

What are you going to do to end the Silence?

So the ever so Queen of Loud went on a mission -

No talking for the entire [school] day.

She accomplished the difficult task of passing through friends' attempts in provoking the girl into uttering a mere simple word.

No matter how much they threaten to tell Pretty Boy that she's doing this because she is a "lesbian".

(Who,
she adds,
looked very cute
in his large jersey
and jeans for a
skateboarder
today.)

No matter how much they bulldozed her in badminton because she made Gym become dull.

No
matter
what
she
came
through
and

A
C
C
    O
      M
       P
    L
     I
   S
H
E
D.

Of course, she didn't entirely cut off communications with human beings. With the help of best friends paper, pen and charades, she made it through the day, EVEN THOUGH IT IS BREAKING THE LAW OF THE DAY OF SILENCE!

She wonders if any other dummies like her participated in this movement.

And actually lasted.

For real.

LE BLAH BLAH BLAH ONE

2008-04-21T22:14:46Z

About to enter the building.

Those cold handles are appearing closer and closer into perception.

Quandary crossed her mind of receiving such positive compliments on her new haircut. With a negative cloud hovering in the sky which is her brain, she takes in a shaky, deep breath and pushed upon the doors of the real world...

"She looks like she just got out of bed," muttered two girls in her first period Chemistry class. Another two girls in her gym class who dislikes her for no apparent reason eyed her for a brief second and then gave the 'she-looks-like-crap-now' smirk with a slight arrogant laugh. Guy friends were no help in the compliments department in which they gave their self-conscious friend either two reactions: apathy or shock. (The latter usually resulted with a: "What did you do to your HAIR?!", "You look like you just got into a fight!", or "You should go back to the salon and demand for your money back." response.)

-- But alas!

The poor girl was saved by reassuring girl friends!

With such soft, kind compliments varying from "You look cute!" (which she received x amount of times), "It's different, but cute nonetheless!", "You look good!", and "I like it! My hair is limp and short so I can't do the same hairstyle as you." the negative cloud began to evaporate.

Every time a guy friend of her was around and teasing her new haircut, a certain friend (who is too awesome to be described in words) called Porn Star cut in and stood up for the girl, verbally lashing at the guys and physically abusing them.

It felt so good.

To be hurt and then saved by such trivial words and actions.

As the girl sits on a chair at home, she ponders on the reaction of her parents when they come home and see their innocent daughter's new haircut, when her Aunt will come home so she can get money to buy several necessities, and a certain guy called Pretty Boy's reaction to her new haircut.

-- Pretty Boy.

The words flew out of her mouth softly through soft lips.

The mere mention of him flutters her previous calm emotion downwards.

Frown.

Frankly, she is pathetic for still liking the attractive guy for over a year now. He is knowledgeable in the fact that he knows her likeness for him.

But why?

What makes him so different from the previous crushes that only lived for a few months?
What makes him so different that although she liked a guy friend on the side for a few months, she STILL felt for him more?
What makes him so different that she wants him to open up to her more and give her the exact smile she fell for the first time they met?
What makes him so different that she wants him to not have a poker face and give more than just a two word reply (which she is uncomfortable of because he gives everyone excluding friends that) when they are together?
What makes him so different that although she thinks he may not like her in the same suit, that just MAYBE they'll be great best friends instead?
What makes him so different that if he falls for another girl at this moment (which he is not, she inwardly glee), she would simply wish for his happiness over her happiness?

What of him makes her even feel all this in the first place?!

And as she ponders more, she bitterly smiles and wishes to hear his deep voice.

And his smile.

The exact smile he flashed to her when she poured her personality to him that day.

That smile was beautiful.

And it was meant for her and only her alone.

LIKE, OH. MY. FRIGGEN. GOSH.

2008-04-18T20:02:31Z

OMFG.
OMFG.
OMFG.

OH. MY. FRIGGEN. GOSH.

I just got my haircut at a Salon near my house, asked the lady for my hair to be thinned and have a haircut just like the girl on the right in this picture:

And, um, maybe it's just that thing where you hate the haircut at first, BECAUSE WHEN I LOOKED IN THE MIRROR I INWARDLY SCREAMED, "I FUCKING LOOK LIKE SOME JROCK/FOBBY JROCK PERSON!"

(Although,
I won't lie --
MY HAIR SMELLS MAD
GOOD AND IS
SO SOFT!
8D)

I won't even bother continuing with Operation Pretty Boy or even try to associate with him anymore.

ONE LOOK OF ME AND HE'LL PROBABLY SHRIEK.

---
Me: *grabbing books from locker*
Pretty Boy: *walks by, notices new haircut and falls back in shock*
Me: TT^TT! IS IT THAT UGLY?!!?!?!??
---

(SOB.)
(SOB.)
(SOB.)

I NEED MY COMFORT FOOD.

LIKE, NOW!

T.T

edit 1: I'm slowly starting to like the choppy asian haircut.... SLOWLY...
edit 2: I LOVE RUNNING MY DAMN FINGERS THROUGH IT, KYA IT'S SO THIN AND SOFT! 8D
edit 3: I LOVE THE SMELL OF FRESHLY CUT HAIR WITH CRAPLOAD OF HAIR PRODUCTS IN IT!
edit 4: Because a certain someone demanded Ami to show what her new haircut looks like and since Ami is lame because she has no WORKABLE camera, she draws it out. YEAH, I DRAW IT ALRIGHT!

She has a thin black hair and heart-shape face by the way. ISH LIKE AN ASIAN MULLET, NO?! :D

edit 5: IF ANYONE AT SCHOOL DARES TEASES ABOUT HER NEW HAIRCUT SHE WILL VIRTUALLY KILL THEM SO THEY WILL SHIT THEIR INTERNET PANTS. VIRTUALLY!

edit 6: Okay, nevermind, it's not a matter of fact where I can pull it off or not, I don't think Pretty Boy will like it, nor anyone, I'll be teased right when I come back to school, my parents will kill me for getting such a haircut, and I just wish I asked for a thinning instead. :X AMI YOU ARE SUCH A HORRIBLE LOSER, I HATE YOU AMI, WHY DID YOU EVER DECIDED TO OPT FOR THIS HAIRCUT IN THE FIRST PLACE?! WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!!! *sigh*

FANWOMAN POWA!!!

2008-04-17T20:20:24Z

OH
MY
FREAKING
GOSH

I demand you to listen to Epik High's new MV - "One": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3gHjxTIdM8

Reaction: HOLY SHIT IT'S SO AWESOME! O__O

THE TECHNO!
THE TECHNO!
THE TECHNO!

(And, of course, Tablo too +_+!)

THE TECHNO!!!!

Jung Ryeo Won's acting skills wasn't that great compared to that girl in "Fan", but who cares?!

TIME IS TICKIN`!

So friggen mclovin` it.

And their new image?! DON'T START WITH ME IT'S SO GOOD!

WHY HELLO THERE TABLO, PEACE TO YOU TOO! :Dv

I WANT TUKUTZ'S SUNGLASSES. AVIATORS PIMPAGE. 8D

His hair reminds me of a parfeit XD

"One" by Epik High
translation credit: shadowkeeper @ soompi

I want to see your tears pour out
pouring out without reason
No one knows inside your heart
The glass fragments raging a storm
The wounds become a sickness
All doors become a wall
I’ve become an enemy in the mirror, doesn’t it hurt
[I’ll] keep anyone from knowing you
[I’ll] leave the breath to tighten out
I’ll force you to choose the end, aren’t I bad?
I’ll take away all reason in this world to stand
Without the choice of the road back
[I guess] you’ll walk to the end
Your breath would probably end before my heart
The tears flow along the scars
You are wandering through death, I’ll save you
you are the one
When you’re walking in shadows
You are my salvation
You rescued my hand
you are the one you are my savior
you are the one you are my savior
you are the one you are my savior

Your hand set the world on fire
You closed everyone’s eyes
The suffering that was reflected in your eyes
The stars are your city
Are your still dreaming and sleeping
Are you measuring all the tears you’ve shed
Hope is a paper boat that sinks, isn’t it sad?
Maybe you’re drenched in sweat at night
Is consciousness crawling o the floor?
Are you thinking it’s the end, are you ok?
'cause I understand
I’m a scar on your broken body
I’m a shattered piece hiding in your marriage
I’ll erase your tears
I’ll grab your hand
With my hand and trust you
The tears are flowing through the scars
You are wandering through death, I’ll save you
you are the one
When you’re walking in shadows
You are my salvation
You rescued my hand
you are the one you are my savior
you are the one you are my savior
you are the one you are my savior

Do you have wounds, do you have scars
Are you wandering through shadows
Do you have wounds, do you have scars
you are the one
When you are wandering through shadows
You are my savior
You saved my hand

EPIK HIGH'S SONGS ARE ALWAYS SO DEEP IN MEANING! *_____*

You can fly higher than the birds in the sky~

2008-04-16T20:59:21Z

YES!

HELL TO THE YES, YES, YES!

THEY LEFT!
THEY MOFO LEFT!
MO TO THE FO FO FO LEFT!

LEFT
LEFT
LEFT!

As in, my parents just left for Las Vegas today and will (never) come back until Tuesday morning.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

Of course, that leaves Ming in charge, and me in charge of my brothers but you know what? THEY ARE TWELVE AND ELEVEN YEARS OLD FOR GOSHDANG'S SAKE. They can look after themselves by now -0-a

SO THAT MEANS PARTY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!

...

Kidding!

I'm not that crazy XD

Just going to hang at friends' house, mall, that lame stuff.

So, I've been tagged by the lovely lipsofanangel0

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
He will wake up very confused in Antartica.

2. What will you do if you do not share the same feelings as the person who likes you?
Turn them down romantically, but friend-wise is a yes. :D

3. What will your dream wedding be like?
UM, I DRESS IN TUXEDO. MY SOON-TO-BE-HUBBY IN WEDDING DRESS. ISWAK WEDDING RECREATION, OH YEAH! 8D

4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
Sometimes but not really(-ish).

5. Do you plan on aiming high, career and grade-wise?
Why yes. Ami plans to be a consultant/clinical dietician. (YOU HELP OBESE & ANOREXIC PEOPLE, FUN!) What she can do now in order to achieve that level of success is do really well in school.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone else?
BOTH! Even better -- loving someone AND them loving you back! TWO WAY LOVE, BABY!8D

7. If the person you like does not accept you, would you continue to wait for them to change their feelings?
Accept as in "doesn't like" me back? Until he says that to me straight up face to face, I'd continue liking them because I am a hopeless loser.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Beat up my pillow and then TRY to get over him. (Keyword = TRY)

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently?
Parents. D": (THE EPITOME OF EVIL!)

10. What do you want most in life?
Happiness is all I ask for. ^^*

11. Which do you prefer--writing, or drawing?
BOTH! :D

12. If you find out that your best friend is going out with your boyfriend/girlfriend, how would you react?
Break up with boyfriend and so-called best friend. Then make paper dolls of them both and beat them up to take out anger.

13. Who is currently the most important person to you?
Clumzi.

14. Describe yourself in one word.
Weird.

15. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
Married + poor. (I DO NOT WANT TO BE 57 WITH A BUNCH OF CATS D:)

16. How do you deal with stress?
Blog + tell friends + music.

17. Would you give your all in a relationship?
Of course!

18. If you were an actor/actress and got offered the lead role in a bollywood film that had a terrible plot and a terrible director but an amazingly hot co-star who'd be your romantic interest, but simultaneously was offered the lead role in a hollywood film that had an amazing plot and an amazing director but an ugly co-star (whom you also hated) who'd be your romantic interest, which would you choose?
OBVIOUSLY THE FIRST ONE!

19. What type of friends do you like?
Anyone that I click with.

20. If you played a prank on someone, and he/she fell for the trick, what would you do?
LAUGH.

TAGGAGE: KUU-CHAN!

P.S. --

Thank you to everyone that says my blog is fun to read! I see the world as a big drama, so yeah XD

And I was like, "OMG, HELLZ NOEZ!"

2008-04-12T02:16:34Z

Please don't mention how the whole operation pretty boy thing went because it NEVER. FLIPPIN. HAPPEN.

Summary: Was already sitting with his friends before I can even tag him. -0-a

I WAS SO IRATE WITH MYSELF!

SO DETERMINED!

SO NOT SHY!

AND THEN WHAM!

-- He's with his friends.

Ugh, but even at lunch it's very loud and crowded and stuff. If only we were in the same class, it would be SOOOOOO much easier. D:

Don't worry though! AMI WILL NOT GIVE UP!! SHE CANNOT GIVE IN TO DISCOURAGEMENT~ FIGHTING!! D8<

Oh, and you know those friends that wants to give you a makeover?!

Clumzi apparently thinks I need a makeover because I still look the same(-ish) since freshman year and she says it'll make Pretty Boy stare at me longer. You know the ordeal: grow out bangs, wear skirts, BLAH BLAH BLABBITY BLAH.

No. Just simply NO.

I mean, maybe brown highlights as she suggested and that haircut + thinning I still am wanting but other than that, not much.

STUPID LOOKING EVEN IN DOLL FORM WINS, YEAH?! 8D

(Disclaimer: Feel free to suggest WHATEVER MAKEOVER SUGGESTIONS YOU WANTS to Ami.)

Wow.

This post was really lacking huh? D:

OKAAAAAAY!! PRETTY BOY!SPAMMAGE >8D

So I think I should work out the couple names. So far it's a cross between MiiBoy and Pretty-chan =3

One time I smelt Pretty Boy 'cause we were standing in line during lunch (THIS WAS LAST YEAR BTW!) and since it was SOOOO crowded and we were pushed so close to each other... omg.. HE SMELT SO EFFIN` FRESSSSSH!! Not like that stupid Axe-thing going on or some Hollister perfume it was like, fresh but not in the gay sense and yet superly fresh >8D

I like my guys smelling FRESH.

(AXE DOES NOT COUNT AS 'FRESH' BTW.)

Pine fresh would be cool too though.

ESPECIALLY IF HE CAN PULL IT OFF WITHOUT APPEARING GAY! +0+

OH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!<3

... I think I've gone crazy.

Foshizzle.

｡+*°*LIP! Service(P圉q'V`*)*゜*+。